How Can I Get My Mother to Stop Treating Me Like a Baby Constantly?
I have Cystic Fibrosis and I know I often get very ill and get infections because of it and do need help from my mother at those times. However, my mother is extremely over-protective and always has been. She literally loves to baby me and wait on me. She will make everything for me, do all my clothes for me, make my bed, food, etc.. She will want to do all my therapies and lay out all my medications for me. When I take a bath sometimes she just comes in and wants to wash my hair for me, even though I can do it myself. If I go out somewhere she calls like ten times. She likes to come in my room and lay next to me in my bed at night/sleep next to me because she’s afraid I’ll die in my sleep or something. I love my mother more than anything, she’s very loving, we’re close. She had me when she was only a teenager and has been a single mother to me…But she just wants to do everything for me and I feel its getting too much now because I’m a teenager and want to go to college soon and have my own life, but its like she doesn’t realize that. How can I get her to lay off a bit without hurting her feelings? When I tell her I can do something myself she does it anyway or says she can do it better than me. What should I do?
Tagged with: Clothes • Medications • Teenager
Filed under: Cystic Fibrosis
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Dear, your mother is only babying you because she just isn’t ready to experience the empty nest syndrome yet.
Since birth and the first two years of your life, your mom has been there to feed, bath, dressed, and comfort you and that permanent bond has been formed since than.
Be nice to her—and if you are going to tell her to give you a little bit of room there to do things on your own, first tell her how much you really appreciate her for being there and doings things for you, but there comes a time when she will need to let you go—by this I mean do things independently so you will have a sense of accomplishment.
For now, cherish her for doing things for you because that is one great loving mother you got there.
Best regards and cheers.
You’ll never be able to control her behavior, unfortunately. But is there any likelihood of moving out of the house some time soon? If you can get some physical distance, you’ll have a lot more control over the relationship.
I hav cerebral palsy. The left side of my body is paralyzed and i cannot speak. luckily i’m actually intellectually advanced in Higher grade classes.
talk to her, and if nothing changes, talk to her again. if worst comes wort show her This question. my dad is over protective to. my mom knows i’m old enough to care for myself. You just need to talk to her.
Talking to my dad doesn’t work much, but it gets him to kind of lay off.. he still worries, but he does it more secretly and babies me less.
you tell her what you wrote here…
“mom, i love you more than anything in the word, but i feel that you are a little overprotective.. can you please try to treat me a little less like a baby? i appreciate all that you do, but i do not need to be helped this much, i can really wash my hair alone, and i promise i will check in with you if you want, when i go out (call her once— better then being called 10x)…” you get where i am going.. keep at this and she will la off at least a bit.
my dad compares me to his gf’s 12 year old daughter which ENRAGES me.. “but taylor isn’t even allowed to do that”.. So i know how hard it can be.. my mother treats me like a normal kid, but she knows i have limits and can be more protective than if i wasn’t disabled.. My dad is like our mm, my mom isn’t loving at all lol, at least doesn’t show it.
Sorry for my lack of grammar and capital letters, It is the internet, I am lazy, and i also have to go
I hope i helped!!
Talk to her and see if you can reach some compromises.
For example with the sleeping thing suggest she get a baby monitor she can put in your room to make sure you’re breathing this way she’ll still know that you’re ok but won’t be invading your privacy.
With the going out thing you could suggest a maximum amount of times she is able to check up on you within the night. explain to her that the people you’re with all know what to do if something happens (if they don’t try getting your mother to explain what to do if you get sick) and that they or you will call her if something goes wrong.
Are you able to do the therapies on your own or do you need help with some of them due to what they involve. If you need help let her assist with those but you do the ones you don’t need help with on your own. You could maybe suggest that she write up a schedule or something that you tick off the therapies once they are finished so she knows they’ve been done.
With the bathing tell her that you want privacy when you’re in the bath or that you want to surprise her with a new hairstyle after you’ve finished – this way she can’t have any viewing of your hair beforehand as it would ruin the surpirise.
If you’re going to compromise with her
*make sure it meets both your needs – you need to be allowed to grow up and your mum needs to know that you’re o.k.
*always have something in mind that you’re willing to do instead of what is currently happening.
Hope this helped
talk to her and let her know how you feel make it clear to her that you need to be more independent despite having the disability you have that you can still do stuff on your own
I’m going to say the same as before. Get down on your knees and Thank God you have someone that cares.
You keep re-posting this same cry baby post over and over. Try growing up some. Think what she is giving up to devote her life to you whether you know or appreciate it at all.
A couple of days of her neglecting her and you would be writing to ask if you should report her to child services.
Just grow up.
Good luck. Getting away maybe the only way. Fears they are full of. The only one of my moms fears I ever talked her out of being permitted to wear a maxi length skirt, she feared I would step on its edge, fall and die from them.
In my thirties, we are visiting her, to show her her grandchild and she starts insisting that any/every person, even elderly ladies want to kill me.
Try telling her if she dose not stop; you will have to disappear, come your 18th birthday, so you will not suffer anymore.
Or write the Dr. Phil TV show and see if he would like to teach her to not be so overprotective.
Pray to God for help and strength
Hi Sarah. I’ve been in your situation. Here it goes. At around age 23 I was robbed at gunpoint and pistol whipped on my head until I was knocked out. Two years later I started getting severe seizures. I was diagnosed with epilepsy . Both of my parents constantly worried about me and called every hour. They stopped by if I didn’t answer the phone, etc. I am now 33 and my folks are finally ok with my condition.
Here is the short answer. It is guilt. Parents have a tendency to feel guilty about choices they have made. For me, I believe it was a divorce. Both of my parents feared that I may one day die from a seizure. They unfairly blame themselves for a condition or feel that they could have been there for you more often.
Perhaps your Mom has unfairly blamed herself in whatever way. It is her way of “being there for you”. It’s a very natural thing.
I would recommend explaining to her that your Independence is a quality of life issue that would make you feel better about yourself. Make sure to let her know how much you love and appreciate her. She will understand, but it will still be hard for her.
Usually I goof around on YA, but your story touched me, so I hope that helps you Sarah.